Be Free Of Judgement.

Be free of judgement. — Kay Wilson 2018-08-20 11-14-50.png

Beneath the clothes and accessories we are all souls, bumbling around, trying to survive.

We all know that feeling of slight discomfort when we realise we are being judged. Whether it is how we look, the work we have done, or the way we have behaved, the sensation of being critically assessed is uncomfortable, demeaning and in some cases painful.

But let’s be honest, we are all guilty of it. Born from our need to survive, judgment has become a hallmark of human behavior. An instinctive ability to instantly evaluate, analyse and react that has kept us safe and helped us flourish as a species.

Yet now, in our relatively safe and well-supported lives, we still find ourselves in this consistent state of thinking and assessing. We continually evaluate our companions and ourselves, making rapid judgments about whether we are ‘for’ or ‘against’ the person in question.

The irony is, that with each judgment we make of another, our perspective of our self hangs in the balance. With every analysis we make we either put ourselves equal to, above, or below the person in question. 

For instance, where we like or ‘approve’ of a person, we enjoy a sense of comradeship or pride in association. In some cases we are so impressed we place ourselves in a subservient mental position, in awe of what we feel we should aspire to be. The reverse is also true, where we disapprove or are unimpressed by another; we resent them, placing ourselves metaphorically ‘above’ them, on the basis that we are ‘better’ than them.

This is an endless and hurtful pattern of behavior for everyone involved. As individuals, we each come with our own set of complexities, beliefs and emotional filters. To seek to understand another human so completely as to make a fair and just judgment over them or their behavior, on a minute-by-minute basis, is surely impossible. On top of which, the person in judgment generally remains oblivious to the entire process, rendering all the time, energy and potential discomfort you’ve experienced, completely wasted and unnecessary.

Even that reassuring sense of value and self-esteem you have when you decide that you are equal to, or better than the person in question, is fleeting. Worse, it can become a pressure point, as you now have to uphold your status of superiority or equality, by striving to remain ‘better’, or equal to the person who you approve of, or look up to.

So why do it? Why do we ceaselessly put ourselves under so much pressure to not only judge others, but to inherently judge ourselves? 

We have become steadfast thinkers; our lifestyles are rigged around the perceived benefits of gloriously appeasing critical analysis and judgment. Our judging abilities reign supreme in our mindsets, offering pain and pleasure in equal measure. 

But what if you could be free of this burden? What if judgment was reserved only for practical application, and how we treated others and ourselves was focused on how we felt about them instead of what we thought of them? To try this, consider how you feel when you are around a loved one, someone or something for which you have complete, unfettered, adoration. It is in this moment that we stop thinking and we start feeling. Our heart opens, and we are able to accept them in their entirety, forgive them their faults and love them without condition. We automatically smile and soften, our entire demeanor changes, we are ‘in love’, operating from our hearts, with purity, gentility and authenticity. We become humane, that glorious step beyond human. 

And it feels good! There is nothing more rewarding, more fulfilling, than acting in a state of love. To show benevolence and compassion to another is our natural state of being, which is why it feels so rewarding. It is in this capacity that the burden of judgment is released and acceptance reigns, acceptance of those you love, and by default, acceptance of yourself. 

How can you spread this feeling so it operates beyond the realm of people we already know and love? Remember that we are all in essence the same. Beneath the clothes and accessories we are all souls, bumbling around, trying our best to survive and thrive wherever we find ourselves.

So the next time you walk down the street, or find yourself in a place packed with other humans, look beyond the exterior, identify with them as fellow beings sharing the same journey. Expand your sense of acceptance; look at them with a fresh sense of understanding and appreciation. Be kind and generous of yourself toward them, help make their journey that bit easier, and gradually, you will start to realize that in the process your load has become lighter, your path far clearer. It no longer matters how people react to you, as you forgive or accept them, and in the process move through life happier, lighter and freer, free of judging and being judged.

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Kay x